By Marissa Hollings
Growing up in the outskirts of my small town a ranch style community right outside of
Roswell New Mexico, was so amazing, it seemed as if we lived live slower, so happy and free. It was the middle of my 4th grade year, when our parents told us we were moving to Texas. I still remember being afraid because all I knew was this perfect little community outside a small town, I recall playing outside every day, running and singing pretending to be the next big pop stars, going to the water hole, riding our bikes down the silo! I’m exaggerating my cousins were the ones riding the bikes down the silo- my sister and I didn’t know how to ride bikes we would just run in. I just remember playing with all my cousins and local friends, I could imagine my small world being swallowed by that huge state right next door. Nonetheless we embarked on our journey to Texas. The oasis was in the rear-view mirror.
For a 10-year-old it was an adventure- excitement, happiness, sadness, and scary emotions all wrapped in one. I started the last part of my 4th grade year, that was short lived by the summer after of 6th grade, dad announced we were moving back to New Mexico. My whole heart was happy to say the least, I was excited to be back in the old neighborhood and rekindle lost friendships. We arrived in Roswell and stopped at our brother’s house right on the corner of Beach and Cherry streets. I was sad to learn that the Oasis was not where we were moving but inside the city limits, I wished at that time to be back in Texas!
We settled in with our brother, our parents began the journey of house hunting. Let me take you back just a bit to the Oasis, the homes we lived in we rent free as long as you were employed with the local dairy. My immigrant parents never owned a home or even thought they would. Fast forward a few months later they were blessed to finally - after decades of living in the US able to purchase their own home; 705 E Greenwood Drive was now our permanent address.
Middle school here I come, I hated the fact that I had to stand about 2 blocks from my house and wait for the bus with the most annoying people I had ever met, later I realized this was Roswell and eventually I was one of the most annoying people I had ever met! I remember the first day as if it was yesterday! I had to go to the counselor’s office because the was an issue with my transcripts although I don’t know now what that was. I was asked a question by a student, and we started talking I will not mention her name. She walked to her class, as I notice another student was waiting to get in the office, which was across the hall from the counselor. I first noticed how grown she looked, her makeup was amazing, her hair was big, her clothes way before her time and her shoes were these boots that made her look like a BAD ASS. She catches me staring and says, “I wouldn’t talk to that girl if I were you." I was intrigued, “why” I asked, as I walked closer. I will not say the reason to protect the BAD ASS girl - we will call her Angel. We for some odd reason clicked mind you... complete opposites: I did not wear makeup, I did not know how to dress like her, and I was the new girl! We hung out but strangely not too often in school. Angel was a bit of a loner, sure she had “friends” she’d been here all her life, but she was going through something and was so grown mentally she just didn't click with anyone.
I started noticing she missed a lot of school, and a lot of the females would say messed up shit about her, of course when she wasn't around. I often thought it was because they were jealous - But what did I know. We hung out after school either at the mall or at the park. I remember she asked if I wanted to go to her house one day and she says to me "our house is not fancy like yours." I never saw my house as fancy, so I told her I don't care about any of that. We get to her house where the front was like as if it was the back yard, it was huge! We finally get to her house and again she says, "Okay, remember what I said about our house!" I don't recall her house being horrible, all I remember is how dark it was inside.
The first room as soon as the front door opens is the kitchen big enough to where the dining room table that seated 6 was right in the middle. To the right was the living room south of that was the bathroom, her mom's room was to the right, her room was to the left towards back of the house in the middle was a small bathroom as I recall. Right before the living room coming down a small hallway from her mom's room was another room which I can't recall if it was her brother or sister's room. Her room was JUST like her "BAD ASS" not grand or anything like that, just full her style. She kept it very organized. Angel always had her own money, she was able to purchase a big ass entertainment center with cassette/CD player, I laugh as I type this because I remember getting to her house one day after school and she reached up behind her mirrored dresser behind a stuffed toy pig and grabbed the CD holder, she had hidden it to make sure her brother didn't mess with it. She just wanted to take care of her stuff, and no one was allowed in her room it was her safe place. We were in 7th grade, and she had her own car. The car didn't work but she was fixing it. Angel could take apart an engine and put it back together - NO PROBLEM! I believe it was as 1977 or '78 Chevrolet caprice- I KNOW IN FACT it was a Caprice because I pronounced it "CAPRESE", and she corrected me right away - all I know is it was a red convertible. By that summer she drove up to my parent's driveway, we were no longer walking. I got in and the cruising down Main Street began.
We got a lot closer when we started 8th grade. We still didn't hang out in school as much only in the same classes we had. I don't know why, maybe she was just that hurt by things she endured and didn't want to get close to anyone, or she wanted to keep that image of herself the one that everyone seemed to not like. We were in gym class one day when her most intimate and hard to imagine story came rolling off her tongue. I was in complete shock, I felt sadness, anger, and confusion. She shared things no one knew, I shared some of the things that I had endured, and that conversation brought us closer than we could imagined. Her birthday was 2 days before mine, judging from all the items in her room I knew she LOVED pigs and tulips, she explained to me why she loved pigs.
I recall she said pigs were very smart, clean, I remember so well she said, "when someone say you're sweating like a pig- you aren't sweating at all" and that they were very social meaning they were close to those that loved them. Tulips she told me aren't as messy as a lot of flowers and their shape is so unique. She shared with me that she wanted to go to Amsterdam when they were in full bloom, one year. I don't believe she ever made it to Amsterdam at that time. I was impressed because she was so damn grown, she thought like an adult and was extremely smart.
She LOVED her brother and sister, she always made sure they were okay. Angel was very shy, she hid it very well, she was always second guessing herself even though deep inside she knew just how sure she really was about any situation. I will never forget the day we found out she was pregnant; she hid it from her mom almost 5 months. She was getting ready to go to church (I apologize I'm sure it's not called church they were Jehovah's witness) she put on a dress it was the only thing that fit, her baby popped out immediately - we laughed so loud, her mom yells from her room "Angel, quit playing we have to go!" "what's so funny?" she continued. Angel's room only had a door that separated the kitchen and her room, but the other side was open, as her mom rushed over Angel rushed to put on a baggy shirt, remember this was the 90's baggy was in, "you aren't wearing that, right?" her mom, asked, we just kept laughing as Angel jumped on her bed to hide the baby.
Towards the end of our 8th grade school year, she got involved with a sophomore from one of the high schools. They were always together, we would skip and taking trips out of town. I recall so many good memories with my best friend. She treated me to lunch showered me with gifts and always was an amazing listener. He eventually became the father of the baby she hid for so long.
We grew apart when I moved to Corpus Christi but every time I was in Roswell, I would always hang out with my best friend and cruise Main Street with our babies this time around. I went to visit one year she had her Pathfinder; I remember how proud she was to show me how to her she "came up." I recall one night we met up with her brother now grown himself, as we spoke, she says "I'm going to get personalized plates, that say "toss it up”, Her brother starts laughing and says "Angel you better not", confused she says why not- as he is explaining- I’m laughing. Angel was extremely smart, but if you knew her and hung out a lot, you would pick up a glimpse “blond tendency”.
I recall I was alone on New Year’s Eve 1999, the big panic year. She called me to ask what I was doing, she was with her boyfriend at the time, which she later married and had her 2nd baby with. I waited for them to pick me up and we partied that night like it was literally 1999. I moved to Dallas that January 2000 and only saw her one time after that. We spoke on the phone very often, she would tell me about her adventures and how the babies were doing, she and her husband had moved to San Antonio very close to me, I couldn't wait to go visit!
I was working for Citi when I got a call from her, I worked so many hours there, I let it go to voice mail, "I'll call her when I'm off" I thought to myself, which would have been that weekend, how I wish she would have left a voice mail this was Friday October 20th 2006, I called her Tuesday October 24th and my call went to voice mail, Wednesday evening I got a call from my sister which she still lived in Roswell, Angel was gone, she was killed in a car accident. With so much pain and hesitation I dialed her mom's phone, her words are still in my ear "Our "Angel" is gone Marissa, my baby is gone?!"
Pigs and Tulips is what I wish I could purchase and gift you every September 22!
Growing up in the outskirts of my small town a ranch style community right outside of
Roswell New Mexico, was so amazing, it seemed as if we lived live slower, so happy and free. It was the middle of my 4th grade year, when our parents told us we were moving to Texas. I still remember being afraid because all I knew was this perfect little community outside a small town, I recall playing outside every day, running and singing pretending to be the next big pop stars, going to the water hole, riding our bikes down the silo! I’m exaggerating my cousins were the ones riding the bikes down the silo- my sister and I didn’t know how to ride bikes we would just run in. I just remember playing with all my cousins and local friends, I could imagine my small world being swallowed by that huge state right next door. Nonetheless we embarked on our journey to Texas. The oasis was in the rear-view mirror.
For a 10-year-old it was an adventure- excitement, happiness, sadness, and scary emotions all wrapped in one. I started the last part of my 4th grade year, that was short lived by the summer after of 6th grade, dad announced we were moving back to New Mexico. My whole heart was happy to say the least, I was excited to be back in the old neighborhood and rekindle lost friendships. We arrived in Roswell and stopped at our brother’s house right on the corner of Beach and Cherry streets. I was sad to learn that the Oasis was not where we were moving but inside the city limits, I wished at that time to be back in Texas!
We settled in with our brother, our parents began the journey of house hunting. Let me take you back just a bit to the Oasis, the homes we lived in we rent free as long as you were employed with the local dairy. My immigrant parents never owned a home or even thought they would. Fast forward a few months later they were blessed to finally - after decades of living in the US able to purchase their own home; 705 E Greenwood Drive was now our permanent address.
Middle school here I come, I hated the fact that I had to stand about 2 blocks from my house and wait for the bus with the most annoying people I had ever met, later I realized this was Roswell and eventually I was one of the most annoying people I had ever met! I remember the first day as if it was yesterday! I had to go to the counselor’s office because the was an issue with my transcripts although I don’t know now what that was. I was asked a question by a student, and we started talking I will not mention her name. She walked to her class, as I notice another student was waiting to get in the office, which was across the hall from the counselor. I first noticed how grown she looked, her makeup was amazing, her hair was big, her clothes way before her time and her shoes were these boots that made her look like a BAD ASS. She catches me staring and says, “I wouldn’t talk to that girl if I were you." I was intrigued, “why” I asked, as I walked closer. I will not say the reason to protect the BAD ASS girl - we will call her Angel. We for some odd reason clicked mind you... complete opposites: I did not wear makeup, I did not know how to dress like her, and I was the new girl! We hung out but strangely not too often in school. Angel was a bit of a loner, sure she had “friends” she’d been here all her life, but she was going through something and was so grown mentally she just didn't click with anyone.
I started noticing she missed a lot of school, and a lot of the females would say messed up shit about her, of course when she wasn't around. I often thought it was because they were jealous - But what did I know. We hung out after school either at the mall or at the park. I remember she asked if I wanted to go to her house one day and she says to me "our house is not fancy like yours." I never saw my house as fancy, so I told her I don't care about any of that. We get to her house where the front was like as if it was the back yard, it was huge! We finally get to her house and again she says, "Okay, remember what I said about our house!" I don't recall her house being horrible, all I remember is how dark it was inside.
The first room as soon as the front door opens is the kitchen big enough to where the dining room table that seated 6 was right in the middle. To the right was the living room south of that was the bathroom, her mom's room was to the right, her room was to the left towards back of the house in the middle was a small bathroom as I recall. Right before the living room coming down a small hallway from her mom's room was another room which I can't recall if it was her brother or sister's room. Her room was JUST like her "BAD ASS" not grand or anything like that, just full her style. She kept it very organized. Angel always had her own money, she was able to purchase a big ass entertainment center with cassette/CD player, I laugh as I type this because I remember getting to her house one day after school and she reached up behind her mirrored dresser behind a stuffed toy pig and grabbed the CD holder, she had hidden it to make sure her brother didn't mess with it. She just wanted to take care of her stuff, and no one was allowed in her room it was her safe place. We were in 7th grade, and she had her own car. The car didn't work but she was fixing it. Angel could take apart an engine and put it back together - NO PROBLEM! I believe it was as 1977 or '78 Chevrolet caprice- I KNOW IN FACT it was a Caprice because I pronounced it "CAPRESE", and she corrected me right away - all I know is it was a red convertible. By that summer she drove up to my parent's driveway, we were no longer walking. I got in and the cruising down Main Street began.
We got a lot closer when we started 8th grade. We still didn't hang out in school as much only in the same classes we had. I don't know why, maybe she was just that hurt by things she endured and didn't want to get close to anyone, or she wanted to keep that image of herself the one that everyone seemed to not like. We were in gym class one day when her most intimate and hard to imagine story came rolling off her tongue. I was in complete shock, I felt sadness, anger, and confusion. She shared things no one knew, I shared some of the things that I had endured, and that conversation brought us closer than we could imagined. Her birthday was 2 days before mine, judging from all the items in her room I knew she LOVED pigs and tulips, she explained to me why she loved pigs.
I recall she said pigs were very smart, clean, I remember so well she said, "when someone say you're sweating like a pig- you aren't sweating at all" and that they were very social meaning they were close to those that loved them. Tulips she told me aren't as messy as a lot of flowers and their shape is so unique. She shared with me that she wanted to go to Amsterdam when they were in full bloom, one year. I don't believe she ever made it to Amsterdam at that time. I was impressed because she was so damn grown, she thought like an adult and was extremely smart.
She LOVED her brother and sister, she always made sure they were okay. Angel was very shy, she hid it very well, she was always second guessing herself even though deep inside she knew just how sure she really was about any situation. I will never forget the day we found out she was pregnant; she hid it from her mom almost 5 months. She was getting ready to go to church (I apologize I'm sure it's not called church they were Jehovah's witness) she put on a dress it was the only thing that fit, her baby popped out immediately - we laughed so loud, her mom yells from her room "Angel, quit playing we have to go!" "what's so funny?" she continued. Angel's room only had a door that separated the kitchen and her room, but the other side was open, as her mom rushed over Angel rushed to put on a baggy shirt, remember this was the 90's baggy was in, "you aren't wearing that, right?" her mom, asked, we just kept laughing as Angel jumped on her bed to hide the baby.
Towards the end of our 8th grade school year, she got involved with a sophomore from one of the high schools. They were always together, we would skip and taking trips out of town. I recall so many good memories with my best friend. She treated me to lunch showered me with gifts and always was an amazing listener. He eventually became the father of the baby she hid for so long.
We grew apart when I moved to Corpus Christi but every time I was in Roswell, I would always hang out with my best friend and cruise Main Street with our babies this time around. I went to visit one year she had her Pathfinder; I remember how proud she was to show me how to her she "came up." I recall one night we met up with her brother now grown himself, as we spoke, she says "I'm going to get personalized plates, that say "toss it up”, Her brother starts laughing and says "Angel you better not", confused she says why not- as he is explaining- I’m laughing. Angel was extremely smart, but if you knew her and hung out a lot, you would pick up a glimpse “blond tendency”.
I recall I was alone on New Year’s Eve 1999, the big panic year. She called me to ask what I was doing, she was with her boyfriend at the time, which she later married and had her 2nd baby with. I waited for them to pick me up and we partied that night like it was literally 1999. I moved to Dallas that January 2000 and only saw her one time after that. We spoke on the phone very often, she would tell me about her adventures and how the babies were doing, she and her husband had moved to San Antonio very close to me, I couldn't wait to go visit!
I was working for Citi when I got a call from her, I worked so many hours there, I let it go to voice mail, "I'll call her when I'm off" I thought to myself, which would have been that weekend, how I wish she would have left a voice mail this was Friday October 20th 2006, I called her Tuesday October 24th and my call went to voice mail, Wednesday evening I got a call from my sister which she still lived in Roswell, Angel was gone, she was killed in a car accident. With so much pain and hesitation I dialed her mom's phone, her words are still in my ear "Our "Angel" is gone Marissa, my baby is gone?!"
Pigs and Tulips is what I wish I could purchase and gift you every September 22!
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